


Mission Impossible

by catsandcoffee103



Series: The Blind and The Stupid [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Mito, Blind Tobirama, F/M, Hashirama is overbearing, M/M, Mito is a goddess, Mito-centric, Not literally. But she is, Pre-Established Relationship, and we love him for it, mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 04:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18066827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsandcoffee103/pseuds/catsandcoffee103
Summary: “Before you say anything, sir, I’d like to thank you for all the help you’ve been,” she stood, moving slowly, seductively, around the chair to rest a hand on his cheek, “So,” her grin turned vicious, and she jabbed a senbon into his neck, “The poison will be fast acting.”





	Mission Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of The Blind and the Stupid series. It may make a bit more sense to read the other's first, but can work as a stand alone. Enjoy!

Mito was proud of her nicknames. Every time Madara called her _Witch_ , or _She-Devil_ she fills with pride. It’s pride, because she knows she has earned those nicknames with her power, her presence, and her aura. She is terrifying, and she loves it. People see the red of her hair and falter in their very step. She wins, she kills, and she never breaks a sweat. There’s only one reason she is not proud of her nicknames: it meant she left enough alive to spread her reputation. She left _witnesses_ , and was not thorough enough in her assassinations. But alas, she doesn’t beat herself up over it, because she loves having a reputation, well, not just any reputation. _This_ reputation. One rooted enough to never waver, not even after marrying Hashirama. She is not known as the Hokage’s wife, nor ever will she be. She is more than a wife, more than a trophy at his elbow, she is still a witch. Still a devil. A nightmare that enters the dreams of her enemies and like the grim reaper, rips out their soul and sends them to their death.

She’s not like ordinary shinobi. She doesn’t dance around in fights like other fighters, hell, she’s not great in straightforward fights in general, she admits it. But she can talk her way into any country, any party, any government building. She can break in anywhere, too, and she can assassinate anyone without even disrupting the flow of air. She’s no fighter, but she is an intelligent killer. She’s mastered seals and stealth, and the art of the silent killing. She never took seduction missions though. She refused to let just anyone touch her, she was a princess after all. That doesn’t mean she’s above seducing her targets, to get them where she wants them. She just doesn’t let them touch her. 

She packed her bag and left for her mission, the one she convinced Hashirama to allow her on, and left quickly. She was excited. She hasn’t been on a mission for a while, after all. Ever since the engagement she has been busy with the politics of the village, Hashirama, and establishing her place in Konoha, and Konoha’s place in the world. Now, she gets to feel the adrenaline of going on a mission again, the race in her heart and skip in her pulse, how her body vibrates and mind rushes with all the possibilities of what may happen, what may go wrong, and she feels like she’s living again.

She travels for a day, hopping from tree to tree, carefully moving so she doesn’t tire, or break a sweat. She’d hate to ruin her makeup while killing these terrorists. She moved quickly, gracefully, not even disrupting a leaf on the fine branches. She was like a ghost, no one would know she was there unless she let them. Once night fell, she stopped. She knew it would only take an hour come morning to find the mercenaries, and then her ploy for their destruction will begin. She smiled softly, settling down on her bedroll and enjoyed the starry sky and light breeze of the clear night.

“Boss!” Mito didn’t bother to learn the man’s name, so she dubbed him Minion Number 1. “Boss, I found this chick, she says she’s lost.” Minion 1 pushed her forward, and she stumbled a bit- she’s an actor too, she’s proud to admit. She can act vulnerable, embracing the stereotype of the frail, submissive woman quite well.

“Pardon me, sir. I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just taking my morning walk when I thought I saw something move and I got scared so I ran, and now I am here. I- I’m sorry, I didn’t want to cause any trouble,” she hugged herself, making herself look smaller and feeble, looking up at the man through her eyelashes. She let her eyes tear up, a light blush ghosting her cheeks in a way Hashirama calls irresistible. She knows she is too. She knows she is a beauty like no other, exotic in a way that’s simply tempting- seducing both men and women alike whenever she allows her dangerous aura to drop so she may seem approachable. Then, of course, there are the fools like her husband that find her danger even more alluring. She loves it, though. She finds a man willing to dance with death intriguing. Beyond that, strong, sexy, and either brave or stupid too. Whatever it is, it’s captivating to watch.

That is not like this man in front of her. This mercenary is dominating, the one who would want to take charge and force his wife into a submissive role of stereotypes and horrid traditions. It was sickening. She can’t wait to sink her knife into his neck. But before then, she must play the part. She watched, meek and small, as the man grinned that yellow smile and laughed, reaching out and laying his disgusting hand on her shoulder, “No worries, little miss. Allow me to, ah, give you a tour and get you comfortable. You can stay the night, then I’ll get someone to escort you home.”

Ugh, he’s not even subtle. She smiled regardless, allowing relief to show clear on her face, nodding kindly, “I will appreciate that sir. Thank you.”

He toothy smile widened and he motioned her forward into the hideout, and Mito is already mentally changing this plan. She isn’t waiting for this vile man to lay another finger on her, not even on the shoulder. Also, she is tired of his attempt at the ‘sex eyes.’ Gods, if sex with him is anything like that look not only would it be atrocious, but probably dirty and greatly displeasing. She feels bad for the poor women who were tricked into sleep with him prior. _Mind on the mission_. She carefully looked around, there were only a few hallways, even less ninjas. She really cannot believe this is the home base of the terrorist group that was worrying all the villages so very much. It’s terribly unimpressive. But then again, they never boasted to be the hands-on type of strong, they were just good at gathering information and selling it out to those willing to attack. Though she never would guess they are so intellectually inclined based on the people she’s met thus far.

The man led her to a back room, one she presumed was either his pitiful attempt at a bedroom or a back office, and motioned for her to take a seat. She did so with a little, grateful smile, crossing her legs and straightening her posture in a refined nature. She knew she looked elegant, like the princess she knows she is. The man lurked over to her side, leaning against the desk with a smirk on his face. “So, Madam-“  
            “Before you say anything, sir, I’d like to thank you for all the help you’ve been,” she stood, moving slowly, seductively, around the chair and rested a hand on his cheek, “So,” her grin turned vicious, and she jabbed a senbon into his neck, “The poison will be fast acting.”

He gagged, stumbling back and falling against the wall, sliding down to land on his ass. Mito took her seat again, fixing her robes as she watched him die. “W-why? What did you do you witch?” His voice was rough, it was obvious liquid has already begun to leak into his lungs. His death was imminent at this point.

Mito straightened her back, everything vulnerable leaving her posture within the second her spine straightened. She looked every bit like the treacherous princess Hashirama has come love. Her grin was all teeth, “My dear, if you don’t mind I’d like to monologue. I never get the chance to otherwise, and I’d rather hear myself talk than hear you talk while I wait for your death,” she knows better than to leave anyone unattended while they’re still alive, “Now, you are the stereotypical male specimen. That is what made you so easy to murder. It made you predictable, especially given the five rules to seducing and killing the stereotypical male. One, they believe woman are weak. Add some little tears in the beginning, and the thought is sold. I cried, and you believed me weak. Two, they want to be a hero. Give them the position to save the day, and they will take it like a dog takes a bone. I looked to you for safety, and you led me to the heart of your hideout. Three, they believe women are subservient, which leads into four, they believe they can convince the women into anything. So, bow your head, hold yourself close, and men will jump on the chance to show their dominance. I did thus, and your mind went to sex, rather than the danger I could have been. All of which leads to five, they underestimate women. You underestimated me.” Of course, there are exceptions. Some men are smarter than to underestimate a woman just because of her gender, but alas, that is not this man. And, it is always fun to shove a man’s fragile masculinity back into his face. She hasn’t been able to do that recently. In Konoha, the men are raised right, even the Uchiha’s. They are raised to never underestimate their opponent, or people in general. They believe anyone can be deadly, and anyone can outsmart them. They don’t get hurt when they are outplayed, they just re-organize and re-strategize differently for a win. It’s why they’re so dangerous, Mito believes. It’s why Konoha has some of the best ninja’s.

“You are also not important enough to keep alive. It is not even clear if you are heading this division, but you are in the position of relative power. Perhaps head of the security? If that’s the case you clearly can’t do your job, but that’s beside the point. You are clearly not intelligent enough to be doing anything truly profound, else this organization would not be as great a threat as it is. So please enjoy your death, and thank you for showing me around the little bit you did.” The man tried to snarl, tried to respond, but his throat tightened and his head rolled back. He is dead. Mito grins, oh, this is much more exciting than the politics of Konoha.

            She stood, brushing off the lingering sense of death, and strode over to the door, feet graceful and never making a sound as she moved. Mito opened the door, looking both ways before walking left down the hallway, away from where they came. She needed to get in, get the records, and exit. Preferably with no fighting, but she does plan to burn the place to the ground. She saw two ninjas’ come her way but didn’t pause in her step, looking them over critically, letting her eyes narrow and posture straighten impossibly more. She held her head high, chin up. She looked arrogant and powerful and like she belonged there. The ninjas looked her over once, pulled in on themselves, and they snuck by her, eyes down casted. She smirked when they were out of sight. Those men were raised right, too bad they were stupid too.

            She paused in a fork in the path, and frowned a little bit. This is fine, she can easily find the way. She pulled out a little scroll from her sleeve compartment, opening it and pouring chakra into the seal she and Tobirama had previously drawn out. The Senju and Mito created this seal to make the dormant chakra trapped in the letters flare, which will lead her straight to it. Perks of Tobirama being blind and smart, the chakra in he puts into his records allows him to read, and allows them to track the documents if they’re ever lost. The seal glowed, and then the right hallway of the fork flickered. She grinned and walked down to the right. She really is appreciative of Tobirama and his ingenious idea. It’s making this so much easier. She followed down the hallway swiftly, which led to only one room. Talk about obvious, truly, how did this group become so prominent to the ninja villages?

            She opened the door slowly, stepping in and staring up. Ah, that’s how. There is a man there, black hair and green eyes, his skin was flawless as was his hairdo. He didn’t smile, but his amusement was clear in his eyes, “You were just about to come in and out without even saying hi? That is so rude.”

            Mito bowed just a bit, “My most insincere apologies.”

            “I appreciate it,” He stepped forward, holding out the scroll they stole from Konoha; Tobirama’s scroll, “Take it. I don’t want it anymore. It’s clear I won’t be able to read the code. We’d need your little Albino to do that.” She hesitantly took the scroll, looking over the man appraising, judging, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He held up his hands placating, “No catch. We aren’t fighters, and I’ve heard the rumors about you. I’d rather not piss off the devil. Take it and leave.”

            “But this isn’t goodbye, I know.”

            “Oh heavens no. I haven’t given up. I’m going to get that scroll again, and the mastermind behind it. I just can’t do it now, nor by myself. And as you can see, my fighters aren’t particularly smart, nor strong.”

            “Yes. I killed one, by the way.”

            “I’m not particularly surprised. No, just take this as a warning: we will come for the Senju and the scroll again, partnered with others who will be able to do the heavy lifting for me,” he shrugged, leaning back on the balls of his heels, “But for now, I’m surrounded by these idiots and we are clearly outmatched.”

            Mito nodded, “I am grateful for the warning. If that’s all, I’ll be off.”  She left, not bothering to look back. Her heart was heavy, however. This isn’t how she thought it would go, she’s disappointed, actually. But he’s smart, that much is clear. He’s smart enough not to start a fight he doesn’t know he’d win. He is dangerous, and she’s not foolish enough to engage him in his own environment. It’s a battle of wits, one she doesn’t want to lose. She’s not foolish enough to let him go free. She pulled out a brush and her specially infused Chakra ink. As she walked, slower now, she painted sigils and seals across the cave walls of the hideout. When she got to the surface, she put away her ink and brush, bowing to the ninja staring, and jumped away in a flash. With a hand sign, giving the ninja on the surface no time to react, she made the base burst into blue flames eating everything it touched. She grinned, she knows the man she spoke to isn’t dead, he probably escaped the second she turned her back, but by the screams she’s sure most of the others have burned. And she has the scroll, probably booby trapped and who knows what else, but they could deal with that in the village. For now, it’s a simple mission success.

 

* * *

 

            “Tobirama, I am going to murder your brother.”

            “Don’t you know it’s rude to murder someone during dinner?”

            “What if I wait till after dinner?”

            “Hm, acceptable.”

            “No! Tobi why?!” Hashirama cried, draping himself over the back of the kitchen chair. He’s been having dinner with his brother and Madara for the past three days, but has also almost burned down Tobirama’s kitchen and has been extra distracted at work and overall, he’s just become absolutely unbearable.

            They’re both over it. One is ready to murder him. Tobirama would be fine if he just happened to vanish mysteriously one day.

            There was a soft knock on the door, and Madara was up from the seat and at the door in record time. Anything to escape his best friend. He flung open the door, staring in disbelief before turning back, “Hashirama get the hell out of this house. Your wife is back.”

            Hashirama perked up, then immediately lunged, flying forward and pulling Mito into a tight hug, “My love! You are safe, do you need anything? You aren’t hurt, right?”

            “I am fine. Everything went flawlessly, if not a little weird,” She grinned, “Anyway, I have intel that Tobirama is in danger.”

            The room went silent. Tobirama coughed a bit. “Uh, Why?”

            “Apparently your code is hard to decipher and they need you to get to your research notes.”

            “My dear brother! Tobi! We need to hide you-!” Mito ‘s hand was as fast as lightning, striking the back of Hashirama’s neck and making him collapse.

Madara stared, “You need to teach me how to do that.”

            “Later, for now I believe we need a plan to ensure Tobirama’s safety.”

“I can take care if myself-“

“Nonsense. We need someone to watch you. Especially at night. Perhaps Madara, he’s already with you a lot.”

            “Wait- is this-“

            “Do not disrupt me, Uchiha. Anyway, Madara, you have a duty to your village and boyfriend to protect him. I’ll put your house on the market for you, focus on Tobirama. Now, husband, we are leaving.”

            Tobirama and Madara watched, jaw slack, and the She-Devil dragged Hashirama from Tobirama’s home, or, now their home and…

            “Did Mito forcefully advance our relationship?”

            “I believe she just did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Mito is a badass and I love her. Anyway, the plot thickens!   
> Also, Mito is the ultimate matchmaker and we all need a friend like her. 
> 
> Please comment! What do you think will happen next? Who do you think was that strange man?


End file.
